Love never fails

Secrets

2011-12-17T18:04:00.000+08:00

Two of my favourite "Secret" songs. :)

Brightside

2011-10-11T15:20:00.002+08:00

2011-09-13T00:39:00.001+08:00

Busy as a bumble bee, will be back soon! :)

ooh la la

2011-08-12T14:54:00.002+08:00

"Ooh la la i'm falling in love and it's better this time than ever before"

To grow old with :)

2011-08-02T16:23:00.004+08:00

p.s. cousin, thank you for being one of my dearest friends too :)

I used to feel sad that i'm not a social person and envy those who have many friends.

But I finally understood that all I really need are a few good friends to grow old with. :)

A safe haven

2011-07-28T01:05:00.003+08:00

Looking forward to our Bali trip in September. It's the first time the boy and I are travelling together alone, and I hope it'll be an unforgettable trip (in a good way). :D

1200 days :)

2011-07-19T08:35:00.003+08:00

Hey baby,

I've spent 1200 days loving you.

Thank you for spending the same time loving me.

Here's to many happy days ahead of

living,

laughing

& definitely lovin'!

Love always,

your girl :)

I trust You

2011-07-11T18:49:00.001+08:00

Sometimes things don't happen the way we plan.

Even though we wanted it really badly,

even though it seemingly could change our life for the better.

It's not easy to say "I trust You, Lord"
especially after losing such a great opportunity.

But faith is not grown on a bed of roses.

Through the thorns I know I can lean upon my Father for strength,

and whisper "I trust You".

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." [Jeremiah 29:11]

1st of July

2011-07-01T01:27:00.008+08:00

It's July 1st, marking a start to the second half of the year! The first six months of 2011 have been a roller coaster ride of the lowest lows and also exhilarating highs. For now, I can attest that when one hits rock bottom, the only way left is to go up! But yes unfortunately we'll never know if there's an even lower low waiting just around the bend. In retrospect, i'm grateful that the tough times taught me to appreciate who I have much more. But it's a tough and painful lesson indeed. :)

2011 so far:
Broke up, cried my heart out (x100), emo momo for a few months.
Blessed to have friends & family who stood by me.
Celebrated wan teng's birthday for the 7th year together :D
Went ice/wax skating for the first time at MBS while celebrating ali's birthday.
Did an exchange to NUS, met new people, got addicted to the yong tau foo & milo peng there.
Attended Paya Lebar Methodist church with cousin, almost fainted during service once due to low blood pressure. Cousin saved me with a cup of juice yay!
Got back with yaohui, learnt to be a better girlfriend, nothing beats falling in love with the same person again. :)
Celebrated the boy's birthday for the 4th time together.
Applied for a HDB flat at Tampines, there were 3000 applicants for 600 units and we got a queue no. of 1000+ lol.
Daddy remarrying, house got renovated so Aunty Dolly can move in. Plenty of nostalgia while clearing old stuff.
Celebrated our 4th anniversay with the batchies!
Celebrated my daddy's birthday for the first time in years. It was a really, really nice feeling. :D
And something extra special that i can't reveal yet, but it could make 2011 the most awesome year ever!

I thank God for the last 6 months and for being with me every single step of the way. When no one else was around, He saw my tears and knew how badly my heart ached. He heard my prayers and blessed me more than I could ever imagine.

Lord, I uplift the people I love and the rest of 2011 into Your hands. In Jesus' name, Amen! :)

Lord, empty me

2011-06-29T00:22:00.000+08:00

Lord, I surrender all so I can be filled with You.

Use Somebody

2011-06-13T19:24:00.003+08:00

Beautiful cover of the Kings of Leon classic.

You know that that I could use somebody.
Someone like you.

Before it's too late

2011-06-01T18:55:00.001+08:00

Top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

By Bonnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.

Source: http://ohdarling.posterous.com/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-o

You & Me

2011-05-24T22:17:00.000+08:00

Taking one step at a time

Walking hand in hand

1 2 3 4

Cheek to cheek

And they're learning how to do that dance

Let this love be forever more they say

I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Pomplamoose!

2011-05-23T00:33:00.001+08:00

Amazingly talented duo :)

Just live.

2011-05-17T22:46:00.002+08:00

Feels like this was written for me.

Hazel, just live :)

Source: icanread

Goodbye NUS :)

2011-05-04T23:50:00.005+08:00

Finished my last exam paper today and it marked the end of my one semester exchange to NUS. It was a 100 MCQ exam for Advertising Strategies and I left after 1 hour because I was excited to have an early start to my holidays! I also secretly always wanted to know if I don't read through the questions twice, will I actually do better. In the past during MCQ exams, I will have "itchy hands" and change my answers, and as expected usually the original answers will be correct haha. Just hope I won't do too badly due to my premature celebration!

My tutors and tutorial mates in NUS usually ask me why I chose to do a local exchange instead of heading abroad. I guess the main reason would be cost, as an exchange to a US or European destination can easily chalk up $15 000 in debts, inclusive of travelling. I also had the opportunity to travel before and I didn't want to deprive someone else of the chance. Lastly, I guess I was intrigued to find out what my uni life would be if I had chosen to go to NUS and study New Media instead. It was a little peek into what could have been if I took the other route, and it was nothing short of a great experience. I have to admit it was challenging at times as the workload seems heavier with lots of readings for tutorial preparation and a heavy focus on theories. But here are 10 reasons why I enjoyed NUS. :)

1. It's nearer to home which saves me time and money travelling!
2. Everyone is so friendly including the teaching staff and my tutorial mates.
3. The lecturers and tutors are really dedicated. For my new media module NM3215: Culture Industries, the lecturer actually scanned our essays and sent it back to us so that we did not have to travel down to school to collect them. An average essay has about 15 pages, multiply that by 250 students, and he would have scanned 3750 pages! I was really touched by his dedication.
4. The food is really yummy. I am going to miss the yong tau foo and milo peng from The Deck especially. And the hearty laughter of the drink stall uncle. :)
5. I love how I can easily walk from the lecture hall to tutorial room to the Central Library because the buildings in FASS are connected. The Central Library is also really conducive for studying.
6. Many of my primary, secondary and JC friends are studying in NUS so I get to see familiar faces often. :)
7. NUS gave me an Alumnus card which was a really sweet gesture. I think one of the benefits is that I get to buy canteen food at student prices. :D
8. I love the smell of the trees as I walk along the AS1 pathway towards the Central Library. There are also really cute cats that follow you around.
9. 4 of my exams had MCQ questions, with 2 being fully MCQ hehe. It's rare to get a full MCQ paper in NTU. :D
10. I truly learnt a lot. I was forced to work equally hard or even harder than I was in NTU even though I only needed to pass my modules. I didn't want to disappoint my project mates or give a bad impression that NTU students are slackers haha. The highlight of my exchange was one of our presentations being selected as the top 3 and we got extra marks counted towards the final grade. It was really encouraging because my project mates and I gave our best effort. :)

I'm glad I got to experience student life at 2 of the main local universities. It would be awesome if I could do an exchange to SMU too, but for now, goodbye NUS and thank you for everything! :)

Heartbreak Warfare

2011-03-28T23:53:00.004+08:00

Clouds of sulfur in the air

Bombs are falling everywhere

It's heartbreak warfare

Once you want it to begin,

No one really ever wins

In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,

why don't you say so?

How come the only way to know how high you get me

is to see how far I fall

God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me

but I can't break through at all.

[Heartbreak Warfare- John Mayer]

Like we never loved at all

2011-03-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

As far as I can tell

Time is leaving us behind

Another week has passed

And still I haven't laughed yet

So tell me what your secret is

To letting go, letting go like you did

How can you just walk on by

Without one tear in your eye

Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me

Maybe that's just your way

Of dealing with the pain

Forgetting everything between our rise and fall

Like we never loved at all

[Faith Hill- Like we never loved at all]

Family :)

2011-03-08T00:26:00.003+08:00

Yesterday my dad brought his girlfriend home and sat me down for a talk. Auntie Dolly (his gf) decided to sell off her flat and move back with my dad to Serangoon North. My dad had moved out about a year ago to stay with her at Bukit Batok. The original plan was for yaohui and I to buy over my dad's flat or we move to yaohui's place so that my dad can sell the flat. But the situation changed and it became just me staying alone.

To be honest, i'm happy yet a little nervous. I'm happy that i can finally stay with family again, but i'm nervous because I never had a mother figure in my life for over 10 years and suddenly i have one i don't really know how to react. However i was really touched when Auntie Dolly said she wanted me to concentrate on my studies and not worry about having to rent a room outside.

Auntie Dolly also shared with me about her flat which is a 5 min walk away from the MRT station and opposite a lake. Her workplace and sister's house is also just opposite. I know she is attached to the place and feel really bad that she has to let it go for me.

I also saw how blessed my dad was to have Auntie Dolly. She plans to use the proceeds from the sale of her flat to help my dad settle his housing loans. Actually she could have rented out her place for a good price but because she and my dad wants to get married they have to let go of one of their flats (HDB rule). I used to think, why don't they just stay together but not get married so that they can still keep the flat and collect rent. But yesterday I understood that when you love someone, you want the whole world to know, no matter what age you are. :)

Jar of hearts

2011-03-01T20:58:00.004+08:00

A friend posted this on Facebook, I thought the lyrics were beautiful.

You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive

And who do you think you are

Running round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are

[Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri]

A new chapter

2011-02-20T15:29:00.002+08:00

Last night, I took a good look at the girl in the mirror. She was a mess. There were tears stains on her cheeks, remnants of the tears that had freely streaked down her face minutes, or even hours ago. Her hair was dishevelled and as she brushed it, she tried to muster a weak smile. But as hard as she tried her lips just wouldn't move. For her heart was heavy and weary.

She did not know letting go of someone for good was this painful. Especially someone she loved so dearly. But it hurt even more because she knew she had lost her loved one long ago. She felt like a fool having tried to keep him for it brought more misery. Happy memories kept popping up like annoying pop-up ads and she tried desperately to brush them aside. But she failed and found herself burying her face in the pillow, sobbing once again and wondering what went wrong.

A long while passed and then she decided, that this was the last time she was going to cry for a man who did not love her anymore. She remembered her cousin's words to hold on to things that will last, things that no one could take away from her. She remembered the love and support she has from her family and best friends. A family that though was not by her side, care for me. And best friends who put everything aside just to come comfort her. And most importantly she remembered that even if no one in the world loved her, Jesus will never forsake her.

And slowly she began to let go. She thanked God for a good man who had loved her so much, and for all the happy times they had together. She kept the soft toys that brought them so many happy moments and wiped away her last tear (hopefully). And then she allowed herself to fall asleep, for tomorrow a new chapter in her life awaits.

Be right back

2011-02-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

This is totally random but this rainbow sheep made my day! :)

In Christ Alone

2011-01-25T22:59:00.004+08:00

Went to service with cousin on Sunday and it felt so wonderful to be back in the house of the Lord. It was especially meaningful to go back to Paya Lebar Methodist as it was the first church my late aunt brought my sister and I to when we were young. One of the songs we sang was "In Christ Alone", and the lyrics spoke right through to me.

In Christ alone

I place my trust

And find my glory in the power of the cross

In every victory

Let it be said of me

My source of strength

My source of hope

Is Christ alone

Found another wonderful song with the same title and beautifully sung by Keith & Kristyn. :)

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

Indeed, in Christ alone, I put my trust. :)

放手

2011-01-20T17:01:00.007+08:00

放手，不等于不关心，只是我不能代替别人做事。

放手，不等于从此不管，而是明白我不该控制他人。

放手，就是不要提供所有答案，让别人从结果中学习。

放手，就是承认无能为力，因为结果如何不在于我。

放手，就是不再试图改变或责备他人，因我只能改变自己。

放手，就是关心而非操心。

放手，就是不要替别人补救，只是表示支持。

放手，就是不要批评，让对方保有尊严。

放手，就是不要操纵结果，让别人自行决定。

放手，就是不要过分保护，让别人面对现实。

放手，就是不要否定，只是接纳。

放手，就是不要唠叨、叱责和争辩，而是反思己过予以改正。

放手，就是不强求凡事照自己的意思，而是接受现状，珍惜每一刻。

放手，就是不再批评或勉强别人，而是努力成为自己理想中的人。"

放手，就是不为过去感到遗憾，而是继续成长，为未来而活。

放手，就是少害怕一点，多爱一点。

http://www.cclw.net/book/xlgsxj/htm/chapter16.html

Blessed

2011-01-18T01:45:00.002+08:00

I give thanks to God for His grace, for all glory belongs to Him alone.

Grades for last semester are out and I'm beyond grateful. I know I have said similar words during Year 1 but last semester I took it to a new low. I can count the number of classes I attended because I can't remember how many I skipped. When schoolmates saw me, a few of them actually said my hair grew longer lol! That's how seldom they saw me in school.

I only took 4 modules last sem because I could feel myself slipping right at the start. It was a self fulfilling prophecy! In fact, I had planned to S/U one module which is ridiculous because that would leave me with only 3 graded ones. The exam period was extra tough because of relationship issues and I couldn't be bothered to study. As before, I will share the number of classes I skipped, other stupid things I did for the module and my grade for it. Next sem I hope to share better news! :)

COM206: Visual Literacy & Communication

Attended 4 out of 11 lectures.

The most memorable module because I shot Alicia in her kebaya for my photo assignment and did an MTV with Ellie, Wan Teng & Yaohui. :)

Grade: B+

COM207: Communication History & Theories

Attended 5 out of 23 lectures.

Missed 3 pop quizes (8-9%), missed a survey (bonus 1%) and did not participate in the online forum (1-2%). Essentially, I walked into the exam hall with 10% gone. My stupidity stumps me.

Grade: B+

COM258: Integrated Marketing Communication

Attended 3 out of 22 lectures, 1 was for a presentation.

On an upside, I only missed one tutorial :D

Grade: A

EE8086: Astronomy

Attended 2 out of 13 lectures, 1 was for the mid-term.

The module I most enjoyed learning. As the exam's format was 50 MCQ, there was even a TYS with at least a thousand questions to practise. Wan Teng, I'm so sorry you took the module with me!

Grade: A-

Ironically, it seems the fewer lectures I attended, the better my grade. To be honest, I was a little disappointed for COM206 as we had put in a lot of effort into the MTV. We even transformed Yaohui's room into a cafe by spending quite a bit at Ikea haha. The photo and MTV assignments got A- which accounted for 65% of the grade so I must have messed up my exam. :( But it is a timely reminder that I should never be complacent.

Compared to last sem, my GPA dropped almost 0.3 but I'm very blessed to still be in the first class range (but barely). This means a lot to me because I hope to apply for scholarships when applications open in March. I especially need one now that I am supporting myself and given my horrible A-level grades, only a decent GPA would give me a small chance. With all said and done, I just want to give thanks to God for His grace. Thank you Father! :)

Now showing

2011-01-13T18:52:00.007+08:00

With awards season coming to Hollywood, there has been timely releases of good movies. Recently I caught two of them, Black Swan & True Grit.

I thought Black Swan was a simple yet compelling storyline that followed a ballerina's struggles and fears as she is chosen to be the star of Swan Lake. Natalie Portman played the lead character Nina Sayers brilliantly. Her acting was convincing and lured the audience into her character's twisted world, allowing us to feel Nina's emotions vividly. Natalie Portman as the White Swan was a natural, she was innocent, beautiful and pure. But what I loved was when she morphed into the Black Swan and you could feel the anger, pride and hatred consuming her character. It was arresting watching how Nina's life mirrored her performance as she struggled to convey the dark emotions of the Black Swan in her dance. Sometimes they got so intertwined I couldn't tell them apart, but right at the end everything falls into place. There are some graphic scenes that made me cringe, but Black Swan is a must watch even if just to see the stunning Natalie Portman.

True Grit on the other hand is a true blue Wild Wild West story.To be honest, people shooting each other whilst riding on horses don't really appeal to me. But the film was beautifully shot and the acting was good. The most memorable character for me was Mattie Ross played by 14 year old Hailee Steinfeld. Her level of maturity and determination to find the killer to avenge her father's death was remarkable. The show is pretty exciting with lots of action throughout but I don't remember any climaxes. The ending also felt a bit abrupt to me. Though I'm not a fan of Cowboy movies, I do appreciate this well directed show by the Coen brothers.

On a side note, I'm following the Korean drama 我的公主. The last time I watched a Korean show was 大長今 in JC, I even skipped classes and went with a classmate to meet the lead character when she was in Singapore haha. But yes, there is something exceptionally sweet and charming about Korean love stories. :)

很久没哭了

2011-01-10T16:19:00.001+08:00

很久没哭了觉得不值得

命运从来不会同情弱者

难过把心里的仓库塞爆了

也不过作一点恶梦再一点苦涩

很久没哭了知道没用的

不舍从来不能挽回什么

只有把勇敢假装到变真的

才能在失去很多后把自我留着

符琼音

Being Human

2011-01-06T00:57:00.004+08:00

It's 6 days into the new year and less than a month to Chinese New Year! I guess the 1st of Jan is more symbolic because it's the official start of a new year, but CNY is just more fun with gatherings and big family dinners. :) However, this year is going to be a little different now that Yaohui and I are no longer together. There'll be no more traditional Cantonese lunch cooked by his amazing grandfather or meeting his relatives. At the same time, he won't be coming over to meet my side of the family. Yes, a lot can change in just one year.

Counted down to the new year with ellie, wan teng and their boyfriends, melvin & andy. Yaohui joined too, and we had a lot of fun with yummy food, german uno and kinect. When the clock struck 12, the 2 couples embraced lovingly while yaohui and I gave each other a big friendly hug. One month go, it wasn't how I anticipated to ring in the new year, but nonetheless heartwarming to have such great company. :)

On the way back home, however there was a serious road accident where a SUV flipped over. The police cordoned off the area and we soon found out why. Lying next to the vehicle was a body covered in white sheet. We were all shocked, partially because we didn't expect to encounter death so closely in the first few hours of the new year. I was particularly sad and solemn after that. Just 5 hours ago, the person must have counted down to 2011 with his/her loved ones, just like we all did, and anticipating the new year with brand new hopes & dreams.

I was starkly reminded again of my mortality. I can make all the grand plans for my life, getting married, having kids, growing old with my husband. But it is all in the hands of God whether I get to fulfill them. After all, I am just human and my time on earth, finite.

Leaving it all behind

2010-12-31T17:50:00.003+08:00

Ellie told me something today that struck me. She said that we have to put the good memories behind us and move on into the new year. I was surprised. I always thought we should leave the bad behind but take the good with us. But she said we need to leave the good behind too or we may get trapped in the past. How true.

Here's hoping all of us will be able to create new happy memories in the new year! :)

It must be me

2010-12-27T01:39:00.001+08:00

When I was 8, my mum left the house.

When I was 18, my sister left the house.

When I was 21, my dad left the house.

Now I'm 22, my fiance just left the house.

It's the same house, but it's never felt emptier,

nor have I felt lonelier.

In a few more months, our helper Lynn will leave too.

And then, it'll really just be me,

alone in this house.

It must be me.

Have I done something wrong Lord?

Why do the people I love keep leaving me?

Maybe it's time I left the house,

to find a home.

Love the way you lie

2010-12-23T14:20:00.008+08:00

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that's alright

Because I like

The way it hurts

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

But that's alright

Because I love

The way you lie

Christmas with the family :)

2010-12-20T11:28:00.003+08:00

Exams are over! This semester came and went like the wind, but I shall put school at the back of my mind for now. :) Went to watch Voyage de la Vie with my mum and her family yesterday. I thought it was a fantastic world class production and some of the acts left us at the edge of our seats. :)

With mum and half brother Joe, i think we look pretty alike though we're 12 years apart haha.

My other half brother Jordan is camera shy. :)

Before the show started, my mum grabbed my hand and said this is the first time

we've watched a show together in almost 15 years.

We used to go together with my uncle, auntie & cousins when we were little. :)

blessed 33rd :)

mortality

2010-12-17T00:55:00.000+08:00

I've been a little worried the last few weeks about my health. Beginning to notice signs that my body is falling apart or something. It started with me losing weight when I didn't change my diet or exercise. I was happy to finally be shedding some weight. But then, a lump in my right leg and bruises appeared even though they started out as what looked like mosquito bites.

Last week, I was in the changing room and the veins in my arms looked as if they were going to pop out from under my skin. They were green and running down my entire arms. I tried to laugh it off but inside I was terrified.

And now.. I'm staring at a pile of hair I gathered from my room floor. And i'm seriously scared.

Fairytales

2010-12-14T19:58:00.002+08:00

I really like this series of photos taken by the talented Annie Leibovitz for Disney. My favourites are Cinderella and The Little Mermaid, there's something extra special about them :)

photos: http://amolife.com/image/celebrities/celebrity-disney-fairy-tales.html

I want to hold your hand

2010-12-11T13:47:00.001+08:00

And when I touch you I feel happy, inside

It´s such a feeling

That my love

I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something

I think you´ll understand

When I feel that something

I wanna hold your hand

walking with dinosaurs

2010-12-06T00:00:00.004+08:00

Dear brought me to watch "Walking with Dinosaurs". To see these dinosaurs, whom i grew up reading so much about, right before my eyes, was simply breath taking and brought a small tear to my eye when Branchiosaurus came out (i have no idea why ^_^)

Expensive, but well worth it. Thanks dear! =)

The song stuck in my head

2010-12-04T20:09:00.000+08:00

This song has been stuck in my head the last few days! It's originally by Cee Lo Green and covered by the talented Gwyneth Paltrow in season 2 of Glee.

There's so many good show to watch online, currently i'm following season 2 of Glee & the Vampire Diaries, season 4 of Gossip Girl, season 7 of Desperate Housewives & the recently concluded cycle 15 of ANTM. All these are very distracting especially when exams start next friday, but I don't really care muahaha. Here's to an A in keeping up with television dramas but F in my academic courses. :S

notes IV :)

2010-11-29T16:23:00.004+08:00

Taken from icanread

Our special day

2010-11-23T16:59:00.002+08:00

Last weekend, yaohui and I attended the weddings of Kelvin & Serene, and Wesley & Huiqi. This marks the last of the bumper crop of weddings of our dearest church friends for this year. :) May all the newlyweds have a lifetime of marital bliss!

Mr & Mrs. Hoon!

The beautiful church

Gorgeous bride :)

The Cheongs!

I love attending weddings. I'm one of those girls who dream of their big day since they are a little girl (anyone else like me? :P) I envision myself dressed in a white pouffy gown with a long cathedral train, walking down the aisle of a beautiful church and taking my vows in front of the cross with my husband to be.

Some people, in fact a growing number, think it's useless spending so much time and money on a wedding which is over in 1 or 2 days, when the focus should be the lifetime of marriage ahead. While i'm not for spending extravagant amounts of money on a wedding, unless the couple can afford it, I do believe a wedding should be special.

I want to wear a gown I feel pretty in because I'm only going to be in it once. I want to know my guests are enjoying the food and not leave feeling this is just one out of countless identical banquets they have attended. Most importantly I want to know that years down the road, my hubby and I will look back and remember the memories we had saying "I do".

I'm lucky yaohui shares the sentiments as me. I was particularly touched when after attending Kelvin & Serene's beautiful wedding, he thought we should start planning for ours. It was a special moment because though we have been engaged for nearly 2 years, we have not set any concrete plans for our wedding. But the last few days, we talked about which church and hotel we wanted to book, looked at wedding gowns, talked about the guest list and who to be our "brothers & sisters". It made me smile to hear him asking his dad if he could marry me in December 2012. :)

So yes, we're counting down to our big day though it's still 2 years away haha. We're hopping for 8 & 9th of Dec which is when exams are over and everyone is in a festive mood. First in our to-do list is booking the venues!

We are praying we can hold our church wedding at St. Andrew's Cathedral, the church is magnificent yet serene. For our banquet dinner, we are hoping for a Chinese dinner & Western desert buffet at the Shangri-la. Most importantly... we need to start saving money!

Will keep you all updated on our big day, and really hope all of you can share in our joy! :)

Lots of love,
hazel

Happily ever after

2010-11-18T18:40:00.000+08:00

It's heartening news to hear that Prince William is engaged to Kate Middleton. The gorgeous couple have been together for 8 years and will wed next year. The late Princess Diana must be smiling upon them in heaven. It's also comforting to know fairy tales still exist in these modern days, albeit to a few lucky girls. May the prince & his princess live happy ever after! :)

Interesting trivia: Kate Middleton whose actual name is Catherine Elizabeth, will be the fifth Queen Catherine in the history of English royalty when Prince William is crowned. :)

We are perfect in the eyes of Jesus

2010-11-15T01:25:00.004+08:00

A friend wrote this note about envy and posted it on facebook. When i read it, it spoke right to me. There was a period recently when i was feeling really down because i felt so inferior to the girls around me. I hated looking at the person in the mirror, she was ugly, fat, talentless and a loner. I wanted to be anyone else but me. I even went to read up on plastic surgery while crying and asking God to forgive me for being so ungrateful and superficial. Thankfully, that phase passed with the love of my good friends & boy (thank you all).

I hope that none of you will ever feel that way, but if you ever do, I hope these words from my friend will comfort you, as they have done for me. :)

I have a friend called Terry (not his real name), who constantly outperforms me in all aspects of my life. I can shoot well at basketball, but he’ll win the Most Valuable Player award. Each time I get A for one law paper, he’ll make the Dean’s List. If a play a song beautifully, he’ll already have mastered 3 instruments. I just got acquainted with a lovely lady, he’s already married a supermodel. Ok, I’m exaggerating slightly, but the point is made. Most of my female friends gush about him being the embodiment of male perfection. My male friends grudgingly concur.

It was difficult to restrain my envy of him, considering how flawless he seems. How then is a young Christian adult/teenager supposed to deal with such competition?

1) Recognise our inherent worth in God

Our heavenly father loves both his gifted children, and those who are weak and frail. Have you seen a mother caring for her disabled son? She often showers more tender loving care upon him than her able-bodied child. I believe the same is true of God who “so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. The oft quoted John 3:16 holds great encouragement for those of us who struggle with self-worth. If Jesus deemed us worthy to die for, he must have seen us as an invaluable child of God. King David recognised his worth in God when he wrote earnestly, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14) God’s love for us is not dependent on whether we have a wide plethora of talents or how many trophies sparkle on our shelves. Hence, when we recognise the esteem that God holds for us, we can rejoice despite our inadequacies.

2) With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

Uncle Ben, just before his untimely death, once encouraged Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility”. As inspirational as this famous quote sounds, it has its roots in the Bible. In Luke 12:48, we are told that “from everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” The same lesson is preached in the Parable of the Talents. We ought to remember that the more talents God endows us with, the more fruitful we must be. For Terry, most of us would be shocked to see him get any C grades at all, which may be pressurising for him. Often, we only perceive the exterior accomplishments of others, without the intimate knowledge of their struggles, toils and tribulations which only they themselves comprehend. Hence, I should be asking God, “Lord, you have blessed me with three talents. I’m not concerned about how many talents you’ve given Terry. Teach me how to maximise MY THREE TALENTS for your glory.”

3) The Senselessness of Envy

Being envious (or covetous) is not only a sin, but ultimately causes us undue agony too. The wise sayings of King Solomon confirm that “a heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” (Proverbs 14:30) and “all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 4:4). Apparently, being envious only foments vehement competitiveness against the superstars of this world like Terry.

Furthermore, 1 Corinthians 1:26-27 tells us that “not many of [us] were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” Many times, the greatness of God shines even more in nominal people like us, especially when we excel beyond our natural talents.

In conclusion, Terry may be the six-pack abs in the body of Christ, but I’m just as vital as a tiny pinkie finger. May God teach us to congratulate the Terrys in our life for their fantastic gifts and celebrate their success. Nonetheless, I should rejoice more jubilantly because of how steadfastly God loves me just as much as my superstar friend, DESPITE my ordinariness.

Written by Wei Chin

The first weekend of Nov :)

2010-11-08T18:25:00.002+08:00

As expected it was a busy weekend! :) On Sat, finished up my report and presentation for COM258, went to check in for the batchies' chalet at 5pm and left for Sinong & Joe's wedding at 7pm. I came back to the chalet at midnight, then had to leave at 8 the next morning for COM206 filming. We filmed from 11am-12am, and because we slept on the floor during the chalet, I didn't have a proper rest for almost 38 hours haha. But it was an awesome weekend being able to talk, laugh and catch up with my batchies, witness the blessed union of Sinong & Joe, and doing up the filming for our MTV assignment. :)

P.S. Thank you beloved batchies for coming down to the chalet and sorry for the miserable condition of the place. :X
Thank you ellie & wan teng for coming down and helping me with the filming. Love you all. :)

Busy as a bumblebee

2010-11-05T11:03:00.000+08:00

Deadlines are all coming up and it's been a crazy 2 weeks with project meetings almost every day. This weekend is going to be packed too. I have a wedding & chalet to attend on sat, and filming of our MTV on sun. Next week there's a mid-term and also a presentation. This semester is really flying by, but i'm not complaining. Can't wait to head over to NUS next sem and recharge myself. :)

God bless everyone!

Blessings!

2010-10-25T00:02:00.001+08:00

"I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!" (Isaiah 65:24)

Indeed, what a loving and gracious God we worship, who cares about our needs even before we call out to Him. Recently, I had 3 great blessings in my life.

The first blessing was organizing the J.U.M.P (Jesus & U in the Market Place) talk with Captain Budi Soehardi as our speaker. When I first read the CNN Heroes article on Captain Budi at the end of 2009, I was inspired by his selflessness and generosity. I blogged about him in this old entry then: http://scarlet-reverie.blogspot.com/2009/11/inspiration.html And when I found out that he and his wife Peggy set up Roslin Orphanage because they want to manifest Christ's love in the children's lives, I knew I had to invite him to be a guest speaker to encourage others as well.

The opportunity came in the form of J.U.M.P, a series of talks organized by my church to encourage young adult Christians to stand firm in the word of God in our workplaces. I have never organized anything for my church in the almost 9 years I've been there, and I'm truly glad I decided to step up instead of procrastinating as always. With the help of Elaine & Gideon and other brothers & sisters in the church, we had our strongest turnout on Friday, and many people were touched by Captain Budi's amazing story of blessings. As long as one heart was changed during the talk, I am overjoyed! :)

I pray that God will use me like He has used Captain Budi to bless others.

The second blessing I received was spending 4 days in Krabi with Wan Teng, Andy and Yaohui. We had so much fun eating, shopping, kayaking & snorkeling. I feel really blessed to have such dear friends to travel the world with. Though I may have travelled to many places during my days with SIA, the feeling is completely different having close friends with you. With good company, a trip to JB will mean much more that one to New York! Our next stop will be Taiwan, and ellie if you are reading this, you must join us with melvin! :D

My third blessing, I am truly thankful beyond words. I received a small scholarship for one academic year with no bond attached. I know that God is providing for me because recently yaohui and I have been very tight with money, but God blessed us with this timely scholarship worth $8000. Indeed, before I even called out to Him, God already knew my needs and provided for me. What a loving God I worship, thank you Lord!

God bless everyone, have a lovely week ahead! :)

notes

2010-10-10T13:01:00.000+08:00

More notes from icanread :)

Vroom :)

2010-10-01T17:24:00.012+08:00

I passed my driving test whee! :D It's a great feeling because a few years ago, I never saw myself being able to drive. I feared being in control of the lives of my passengers, my fellow road users and myself. And my family doesn't own a car so I felt there wasn't a need getting a license. But yes, I'm glad I got down to doing it despite being a terrible driver and failing once haha.

I took my test on Wed and was blessed with clear skies. I have to sheepishly admit I wasn't confident at all. Ironically, I think I was less confident than on my first attempt haha. My regular driving instructor had gone for his reservist and a new instructor taught me during my last lesson. He told me new terms like "safety car" which before that, I only thought existed in F1 races. I panicked for there was still so much I didn't know a day before my test.

On the day of the test, during warm up I hit a kerb while exiting a course. "That's it", I thought. How could I still be hitting kerbs minutes before my test? I guessed this sense of expectancy to fail made me less nervous somehow. :)

As the fellow testees and myself sat in the waiting room, we waited anxiously for each tester to come in and call our names. I'm not sure if other people do this too, but I confess I would gauge if the instructor is fierce as he walks in, and if he is, hoped he didn't call me. :P Actually almost of them looked strict, but some would still smile and say "good morning" while others just boomed out the testee's name. There was even one that looked like Guile from street fighter! :P

Okay maybe not that muscular, but similar hairstyle. :P

I finally got called by my tester, an adorable man who wore sunglasses over his reading glasses. Throughout the test, he kept staring intently at me as I navigated the courses. My heart sunk a little every time he took out his electronic device and started tapping to deduct points. I also drove really slowly so I would not forget to do my safety checks, but he kept chiding me to drive faster and stop delaying lol. Out on the roads, there was a long queue at the U-turn, and after waiting for almost 10 min, the tester gave up waiting and asked me to take a new route back to school. It was a long 10 min and I had to make awkward small talk with him like ask if he had lunch haha. I also asked him if I had failed cuz I noticed he had kept his device (not a good sign), but he just asked me to do my best. In all, my test took over 45min.

Back at CDC, when the tester told me I had passed, I was overjoyed! In my excitement, I even gently patted him on his arm to thank him lol. That was the first time I saw him smile. :)

Yaohui was waiting for me outside the school, and on the dashboard of his car was a probation plate and a card he made. He had already prepared them in July when I first attempted my practical, but we know how that turned out. :P Thank you darling, I will drive safely!

The truth is getting my license is only the first step to being a competent driver. Out on the roads with no instructor by my side to be my extra set of eyes, I have to be even more careful. Based on the 2 journeys I took to Dhoby Ghaut and back home from NTU, I have to admit drivers are generally less patient with P plate drivers. But i'm not going to give up! :)

Drive safe everyone!

Love binds us

2010-09-27T23:41:00.003+08:00

What doesn't break us can only make us stronger. :)

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior." [Ephesians 5:22-23]

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. [Colossians 3:12-14]

Without You

2010-09-23T14:13:00.001+08:00

Without God, I'm just an empty vessel.
Without my cousin, I wouldn't feel the warmth of family.
Without ellie & wan teng, I wouldn't know the blessings of friendship.
Without yaohui, I wouldn't experience true love.

I might have been close to giving up but these people kept me from shattering into a million little pieces. Without you, I wouldn't have made it through. Thank you. : )

p.s. cousin we're in the same egg shell!

His Grace

2010-09-15T13:13:00.001+08:00

It's the third week of the new school semester and I'm still amazed how fast time flies when I'm doing nothing. Every semester I start out with a small bit of zest and determination but that soon fizzles out by the end of the first week. This semester is no exception, in fact it's getting worse. Half of my motivation died after the first day. The rest of it disappeared when I finalized my timetable. Even though I technically only have 4 modules to attend classes, I still have a 5 day week with 2 days only having one lecture. The rest of the days have long breaks ranging from 3 to 5 hours. And yes, that makes me very very tempted to skip classes. : (

I'm ashamed of myself. I should be loving what I'm studying, and not dragging myself to school or missing classes. I try to recall my JC days and wondered what has changed in me since then. So far the most plausible reason is that I'm addicted to working and my mindset has not changed since I went back to school. Of course, I've always been a slacker having skipped classes in JC too hehe.

People tell me it's alright if I don't attend classes since I do okay anyway. But I know clearly my past grades were only from the grace of God and I do not want to take His blessings for granted. So dear hazel, before it's week 10 and you sob trying to catch up on past readings, please start now! >:(

On a happier note, I have another reason to thank God! My practical driving test is on 29th Sept and in early Sept I was booking driving lessons to revise. When I went into the online portal I saw lots of vacancies, and I thought I was really lucky because lesson slots for Comfort Driving Center usually run out very fast. In fact I should have booked my lessons in Aug but didn't have enough money then.

And then I checked the date of the earliest vacancy and I nearly died... it was 1st Oct. I panicked and tried looking for private instructors. However as I was a CDC student, they were not allowed to bring me to the circuit which is where I most needed practice. In addition, most of them had cars different from my test car.

My only hope was to wait for people to cancel their lesson slots, but what were the odds? But yes with God everything is possible! In the space of a few days, 3 people cancelled their lessons. The most miraculous thing was that 2 of them were on Monday which was my free day before I reshuffled my timetable. And the last slot was on the day right before my test. After that though I kept checking, no one else dropped their slots, and the next earliest vacancy is 4th Oct.

What a loving God I worship, that He would care enough to ensure I have driving lessons to revise. Thank You Lord. :)

notes III :)

2010-09-05T02:28:00.001+08:00

Goodbye my friend

2010-09-01T00:38:00.001+08:00

On Monday morning, a junior of mine lost his battle to cancer. It was heart wrenching to see a young life of just 20 so abruptly taken away, and I sincerely regretted not having the opportunity to speak to him again before he left.

He was my St. Johns and Student Council junior in secondary school and I remember vividly his bubbly nature and hearty laughs. He had an infectious spark that would light up the whole room and made the people around him smile. We had conversations on MSN like an elder sister to a younger brother, but after I left secondary school unfortunately we lost contact and I realized yesterday i didn't even have him on Facebook.

It was only until last Saturday when I met another secondary school friend that she informed me about this junior's fight with cancer. She asked me if I would like to write a card to encourage him, of course I would. But to my deepest regret, on Monday I saw on Facebook that he had passed away peacefully in the morning. My heart broke. He would never know that this friend of his still cared for him and treasured the memories, no matter how little we had together.

Sooner or later, the brevity of life will hit us like a rock and we'll stop to ponder, what do we really want to do with the little time we have on earth. Do I really want to spend my years chasing material wants? Is there anything I would regret not saying or doing if I died today? Yes, we should live each day as our last till our Father in heaven calls us home.

Rest in peace my dear friend. I know that you are in a place with no more suffering or pain. We'll meet again someday.

Back to School

2010-08-23T03:45:00.002+08:00

It's exactly one more week till school starts and I begin my sophomore year. The last 4 months of holidays have been exceptionally awesome. It felt like a much needed rest after years of part-time work during the holidays. I had lovely meet ups, did what I enjoyed, and slept as much as I wanted haha.

I think I have turned into a lazy slug (actually I was always one, just became bigger hehe), and I'm not sure how I can switch back to student mode. Up till now, I have been sleeping at almost 3, 4am daily. In fact, I'm writing this post at 3.22am haha. But yet a small part of me is excited for school to start, and I really hope I won't be skipping as many classes this semester. :D

Those close to me know I can't wait to graduate and start work. I have 3 more years to go and I'm beginning to feel a tad restless. I want to do something fulfilling while I study, but I can't seem to pinpoint what it should be. I don't want to take up another odd job earning $7/hr but desire a work experience that can lay the foundation for my future career. At this point, the only thing that can help me achieve that is a scholarship so that I can have work attachments every vacation. Alas the odds of me getting one is as high as the opposition winning the next election haha.

I shall just pray and ask God to show me the plan He has for my life. God has opened doors for me so many times and I trust that He will see me through everything. :)

Besides school, renovation works at yaohui's house is almost completed and I should be moving in end of this week. The last 2 weeks we have been busy choosing and buying lights, plants, a washing machine, a fridge, a sink & tap, dining table & chairs and household cleaning products. We've been to Ikea so many times yaohui is scared of the place haha. The handyman will finish up installing everything today. :)

I feel old buying household stuff, but it's really a nice feeling to be buying items for our own place. Even though we don't have lots of money to do up the room, we hope to make it as cosy as possible so that our friends will enjoy coming over. So yes please come visit us! We've stocked up the fridge with drinks and snacks too hehe. Will post up photos when the room is finally done. :)

Have a great week everyone! :)

29!

2010-08-19T17:13:00.004+08:00

For the best months in my life,

For loving me for who I am,

For giving up so much of youself,

For every single thing you have done to make me smile,

For simply being an awesome man,

I can't wait to be your Mrs Cheong. :)

Blessed 29 months!

Love,

shanshan

Gone too soon

2010-08-19T13:39:00.000+08:00

This is such a sad and tragic story. A series of unfortunate events stemming from a well-intended act of congratulating the bridal couple by offering toasts. I will definitely think twice before participating in such banquet toasts again. May the couple rest in peace.

"IT WAS one of Singapore's saddest stories ever. A bridegroom fell to his death at the Hilton hotel after his wedding banquet. Eight months later, his widow fell from a Hougang block and died too. Yesterday, coroner Victor Yeo ruled out foul play or suicide as the cause of computer shop owner Vernon Leong Jun Wei's death last November.
But nobody will ever know why Mr Leong, 31, left his 10th-floor bridal suite in the middle of the night and went down the fire escape stairwell.
The inquest revealed that he was drunk, and had tried for several minutes to get out of the stairwell.
Closed-circuit television footage showed him trying to open several doors unsuccessfully as he stumbled 11 floors down to the basement, before heading up again.
Finally, he managed to get into an air-handling unit room on the fourth floor. That led him to a dark roof-top ledge from which he fell.
His bride, Ms Kerin Peh Li Ling, 28, had called for help when she found him missing, but Hilton staff could not get to him in time.
The coroner ruled Mr Leong's death a misadventure. Ms Peh died on July 5, and the inquest into her death is pending."

- The Straits Times (Aug 19, 2010)

Killing me softly

2010-08-17T03:58:00.004+08:00

At my nadir,
I sometimes wish I would have amnesia so that I can start life anew.
I know it's bitterly selfish,
But I really want to know what's it like to have,
A life without past baggage or hurt weighing me down.

A life where I can be happy & content,
And not feel a million times more inferior than everyone else.
A life without the fear of rejection,
Where I can easily make friends,
And not erect fortified walls in my heart to keep people out.

I know I shouldn't ask, but...
What's it like to have a loving family to come home to?
Would I turn out differently if I had one?
What's it like to be well-liked and have many friends to turn to?
To not dread the person in the mirror?

I am thankful for the life God has given me,
but I have tarnished it with ill choices I made.
The consequences still haunt me,
dragging me back into the past every now and then.
Do I really need to have amnesia to live in the present?

I know I have to let go, and I'm trying my best.
I want to be happy & carefree too,
Just a simple life with my loved ones.
A free spirit, I can only imagine.
Dear Lord, please take this pain away.

P.S. sorry for the super emo post, feeling incredibly down. : (

P.P.S. thank you to those who sent me msges, I sincerely appreciate it. Don't worry, i'm feeling much better already. :)

notes II :)

2010-08-12T00:09:00.002+08:00

Taken from i can read:

Not an idiot

2010-08-11T00:40:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, my boy and I caught a Bollywood show titled "3 idiots". When I first saw the title, i thought it was going to be a light-hearted comedy featuring 3 guys doing silly things. Perfect for a lazy national day afternoon I thought. In fact, even the poster for "3 Idiots" was funny! I secretly wish I have chairs like these and I can invite unsuspecting guests to sit on them. :P

After watching this show, I will not judge a movie based on its title or poster again. Hands down, this is one of the best shows I've watched. To me, it's as good as "Slumdog Millionaire", which is another fantastic Indian movie.

Contrary to its title, this show is more "I Not Stupid" than "Stepbrothers" or "Blades of Glory". A well-written story, it has unexpected twists and surprises in the plot to make the lengthy film fly by. Although the show is in Hindi with a smattering of English, Yaohui and I gladly read the Chinese subtitles for almost 3 hours. If it was any other show, we wouldn't have lasted 15 minutes haha.

The 3 "idiots" in the show are actually undergraduates at a prestigious engineering university. The main character is a guy called Rancho who through his ways, convinces his 2 best friends that learning is not solely to get a degree and landing a prestigious job. He encourages them to do what they love instead, and success will surely follow. Rancho's unconventional thinking lands him in trouble with the Dean of College and other schoolmates who prefer the tried and tested method of memorizing information to ace exams. Of course we know the show will have a happy ending. :)

I know the storyline sounds cliche and didactic. However I believe"3 idiots" will still make audiences reflect upon the messages in the movie. It is a relevant show to many youths today, especially in countries where there is immense societal pressure to do well academically. I am thankful that in Singapore we are mostly pushed to do well for our own future. Yet we know in countries like India and China, getting into a good university is crucial to landing a respectable job and subsequently carving a way out of poverty. It's not just about the self anymore, but about the entire family's future. "3 idiots" succinctly captures these struggles experienced by the characters, and by knowing their background stories, it is easy to understand why they choose the path they do.

On a lighter note, "3 idiots" is still a funny show with the characteristic Bollywood dances and infectious music. Apparently, it is also the highest grossing Bollywood movie in India. I really hope you all have the chance to catch it, and if anyone of you do, please tell me if you enjoyed it! :)

"It works as fun movie and a portrait of India today and a maker manifesto. The film is a cautionary moral tale about about aspiration at all costs, and a social commentary on India's educational system. The hacker-protagonist played by Aamir Khan preaches DIY tech education as an empowering journey to world-changing knowledge, not a shallow means to upwardly mobile ends." - Xeni Jardin

Move Along

2010-08-05T00:34:00.003+08:00

Dear all, i'm moving after 15 years of staying in the same house, and 22 years of staying in the same estate. I'll be moving to yaohui's place because my dad is planning to sell the flat so he can marry his girlfriend. His girlfriend also owns a HDB apartment and apparently a married couple can't own 2 flats.

Actually my dad doesn't even stay here anymore, the last I saw him was I think 2 weeks ago when he came back to pick up his letters lol. At the same time, yaohui has been staying at my place for the last 1 year due to renovations at his place. We had a happy few months just us and our lovely helper Lynn. But of course, my dad wasn't too happy paying for a helper and the house when he doesn't stay here anymore haha.

We contemplated buying over the flat because we love this area, and it's an old flat so it's quite spacious for a 5 roomer. However, yaohui's father strongly believes we should not buy a HDB flat as he thinks the government is sucking young couples into 30 year loans and making money from it lol.

So yup, goodbye my beloved serangoon north.

I'm going to miss seeing the skyline and fireworks from my window,

all the yummy food here,

and the room and house I grew up in.

But yet this place also holds a lot of unhappy memories I had while growing up.

So maybe, it's time for a change.

A place to create new happy memories with yaohui,

And a new family to love.

Hello seletar hills! :)

P.S. Please come and visit us!

Dearest Ellie :)

2010-08-01T20:14:00.003+08:00

To a special girl I've known for 10 years,

someone who has accompanied me through my highs & lows,

who's always been there by my side,

happy 22nd birthday my best friend. :)

May we celebrate our birthdays together for the next 50 years and more!

Lots of love,

hazel

Get Well Soon!

2010-07-29T01:23:00.002+08:00

Cousin, ellie & huihui have been ill the last few days...

I hope all of you are feeling much better already! Will be praying for God's healing hands upon you all. :)

Everyone else please take good care, there seems to be a nasty virus passing around. <3

Made up

2010-07-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

The truth is that we live in a superficial world though we often profess that inward beauty is much more important. I usually console myself with that statement, though I doubt I have much of inward beauty too haha. A friend told me that for people to know you well enough to appreciate your inner beauty, they have to be first attracted by your outer beauty. Indeed, sadly, we don't have labels stuck on our heads proclaiming our inner qualities for the world to see.

Outward beauty is a powerful tool. With it you can get jobs be it those that demand employees to have lovely aesthetics, or otherwise. After all, don't everyone enjoy looking at beautiful people? When you're beautiful, others tend to treat you better, and if you make a mistake, they try to be more forgiving (especially guys of course). You'll most likely find good looking and perhaps wealthier partners too.Yes, it's all very superficial but true.

This is just one of the reasons why women and men spend time, effort and money to look good. Of course, another reason is that we want to look good for ourselves. No one wants to go out looking like a slob and attracting the wrong kind of stares and giggles. Secretly, we all have this narcissistic side of us that enjoys other people giving us positive reaffirmation, be it through a compliment paid or just a stranger "checking us out". It's an intangible sense of self worth, perhaps similar to driving an expensive car and enjoying the admiring glances from others. Yes, we feel shiok when people think or say we look good.

When walking down the streets, I too enjoy looking at people and admiring their dressing. My most vivid memory was during my flying days when I went to Namba, a shopping district in Osaka. I saw this girl who was a doppelganger for Ayumi Hamasaki, and was about to whip out my camera to take her photo when I looked around and realized that almost every girl looked like a pop star! They had hair that was curled perfectly, eyes so big and mesmerizing, and skin literally glowing. I felt so ugly at the moment and wished I could bury my face in my hands!

Yes, I had experienced the famed beauty of Japanese girls and I was blown away. Many of them naturally had beautiful features, and when needed, they used make-up to accentuate them. Recently, after watching some make-up videos on YouTube e.g. Michelle Phan (she's amazing!), I realized that make-up is like an art. One plays with colours to bring out their best features while concealing blemishes, and to create different looks.

Don't get me wrong, I still think that natural beauty is the best. No one wants to pile on make-up like a mask then turn into a completely different person without it. Unfortunately, I am not blessed with good looks , and my bare face is let's just say, not a pretty sight haha. How I wish I could go about without putting make-up like many of my pretty friends! But my recent attempts to do so got me comments like "you look pale/ are you sick?" lol!

I guess that's the trap of putting on make-up. People can get so used to you putting it that you are not yourself anymore if your face is not dolled up in colours. This sadly is the case for me. Since my flying days, I'm used to piling make-up on- blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick, that I feel so naked without it. All my flaws are magnified and I almost feel compelled to put something to cover them! One day, I hope I can wean myself from make-up and go about with just enough, and not too much.

Meanwhile, enjoy this video from the talented Michelle using cosmetics to paint a FF7 picture. Her words are very wise too. :)

wake up to the morning call!

2010-07-24T11:17:00.004+08:00

hey darling, you are asleep but your favourite mac breakfast is waiting for you .. it probably would be cold by then but i'll heat it up nice nice for you! btw .. you've become ever more lovely .. and beautiful .. and stunning..

you are wonderful to me

loves,
boy

I can't drive

2010-07-20T17:23:00.002+08:00

Had my driving test yesterday, unfortunately and fortunately I failed. Unfortunate because in trying to save money, I took 22 lessons, when I should have taken at least 25. But now I have to fork out another $156 for my next practical test on the 29th of Sept, and take another 3-5 lessons to revise lol. Fortunate because I want to be sure I am a safe & competent driver before taking to the roads and ferrying my loved ones.

To be honest, I kind of expected to fail because my driving skills and confidence level are not as good as they should be. I can follow the steps taught in the circuit, where and when to start turning etc. But I don't really know how to correct if I make a mistake. This was what happened during the test yesterday. During parallel parking, I think I turned too early before my back wheel touched the line of the parking lot. While trying to correct, I struck the front kerb (10 points), then I panicked and while turning out I struck the outside kerb. Immediate failure -_- It was disheartening because during the warm-up, my parallel parking was ok haha.

The sweet thing was that the tester was very strict, fierce looking at the start of the test, but after I struck the kerb, he became very kind and sympathetic. I think it was because I looked like I was about to cry lol.

It was a good (though expensive) experience that I took the test before, and I sincerely hope with more practice, I will be able to pass the next time round! For now, I'm just grateful that Yaohui is still willing to drive me, thank you dear. :)

Smile or Die

2010-07-17T01:26:00.001+08:00

I love this series where they use graphics to make speeches more appealing and easier to follow. :) This particular video talks about forced positivism and its negative effects including delusion. An interesting insight, enjoy!

Empty Me

2010-07-16T03:39:00.000+08:00

I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

[Empty Me- Chris Sligh]

Misadventures with a lemon

2010-07-14T02:18:00.003+08:00

Today was not too good a day. My body reacts very strongly to milk and citric juices when it's the time of the month. It's peculiar because I haven't heard of other girls having such reactions. Years ago, I drank a lemon drink and nearly fainted on the train, while another time a bundung drink caused me to writhe in bed for hours before I threw everything up.

This time around, I had drank 2 mouthfuls of a honey drink before realizing the slice of lemon in it. At first for the next 3 hours I was okay, and was happily finding apps to download for my ipad. I had finally found an app that can let me open & edit Microsoft files, which made it very useful for school work. I then went for a nap but was barely asleep when I awoke to a piercing pain in my tummy.

The lemon had begun its dreadful assault on my body.

What happened next was over an hour spent in the loo trying to force the honey lemon drink out. It was like a case of food poisoning where the body is trying to purge the "dirty" food/drink consumed. I hope you all never have to experience that.

I was breaking out in cold sweat, my hands were cold and clammy, and my face became ghost white. I felt so giddy and light-headed that I couldn't even stand up. I finally collapsed to the floor of the bathroom in anguish. I was gagging and it was a really horrible feeling because the honey lemon drink was drunk over 3 hours ago, hence it was already deep down in my tummy. It felt like my entire stomach was going to come out.

Finally after countless minutes, I threw up the vile liquid. It was gross to say the least, but it's amazing how much better I felt immediately. I thanked God, took a bath and crawled back to bed, promising to stay away from lemony drinks for a long, long time.

but they don't like me, I hope they like you better. :)

2010-07-12T16:47:00.002+08:00

Boo to cramps that make my plans go all awry,

all I can do is roll around in bed

for a day or two. : (

Lead Me

2010-07-09T18:17:00.003+08:00

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone.

always be my baby

2010-07-08T23:44:00.001+08:00

going back to work tmr, may or may not get to see hazel for the next 2 weeks..
to all her friends who love her, please take care of her while i am away =)

-boy
love you shan!

嘻哈空姐

2010-07-07T00:20:00.000+08:00

Apparently this song was banned in China for it suggestive lyrics. It's a fact, Jay Chou can sing about anything! The MTV should be interesting. ;)

起落架离开地上　空姐亲切的讲
请我打开遮阳板　将安全带系上
接著问是否用餐　需不需要毛毯
而我沉睡在客舱　梦境在我正上方

她没有狐狸脸蛋　竟然可以这么耐看
发香爱爱爱爱上　醒来在飞机上座位还在晃
一半　她放慢脚步想我拼命跑想我去追上
我知道　因为我想

她问我Coffee tea or me　我深深倒抽一口气
她身体摆动的频率　让我几乎喘不过气

我点咖啡不加糖　正对著她品尝
那免税品的包装　诱人像她一样
我决定边走边唱　她的眼神渴望
充满暗示与想像　给予人一种挑战

梦游的初步阶段　我脑海播放了一段
形状幻幻幻幻想　醒来在走道上随节奏在晃
闪亮　她一路翘臀推著那餐车性感的模样
短裙的弧度　漂亮

她问我 Coffee tea or me　我深深倒抽一口气
她身体摆动的频率　让我几乎喘不过气
她问我Coffee tea or me 　张大眼睛在怀疑
厚嘴唇很有吸引力　我会不会瞬间麻痹

Of good advertising & a good prediction

2010-07-05T02:38:00.002+08:00

Sublime advertising, very cheeky too haha.

Someone's winning ticket for the Germany-Argentina match. Look at the return haha! Who would have thought Argentina would be trashed 4-0? This World Cup has so many upsets and surprises, it makes you wonder what else can happen.

On a side note about the WC, my heart breaks for penalty takers who miss the shot, because the weight of the team's loss is on their shoulders. It's sad to see grown men cry so hard. I truly hope their team mates or countrymen won't blame them, because after all, it's just a game. And with any game, unfortunately there'll always be winners and losers.

On another note, my phone has spoilt and Yaohui & I are sharing a phone now. I apologize in advance if I reply msges slowly or miss calls. I'm contemplating getting the latest iPhone because my old one has served me well, but it's so expensive now. Hopefully my old phone can be repaired. :) May you all have a great week ahead!

Love's Promise

2010-06-30T20:41:00.001+08:00

Does true love really exists?

I strongly believe so.

But my faith quivers when I see,

Picture-perfect couples come and go.

Will we be next, I wonder?

It's true,
There's no such thing as a perfect relationship,

For we all have our idiosyncrasies.

Compromise & forgiveness,

We know it's much easier said than done.

Love takes years to build but seconds to tear down.

A single word,

A single act could ruin it all.

I know,

For I have been there too many times before.

But at least once in our life,

we need to fall helplessly in love.

And when time passes and the euphoria fades,

Remember all the happy times together,

And promises made.

Yes, I will hold your hand till the end of my life.

Love,

hazel

On life, dreams & love

2010-06-21T22:57:00.008+08:00

Please watch this, it's truly inspirational. :)

"If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"

We are princesses :)

2010-06-20T22:28:00.004+08:00

All girls are princesses,

& they deserve to be treated like one.

Give them a shoulder to lean on a weary day,

And a warm embrace to come home to.

Tell them they're beautiful,

no matter what they think or what other people say.

Yes all girls are princesses,

because God created & loved them much.

So give them all your love & be gentle with them,

let her be the only princess in your heart.

P.S. Wrote this little jingle after yaohui called me his princess :D
Love the note from tumblr too!

Raison D'être

2010-06-16T17:19:00.004+08:00

I'm so excited to share this with you all! Yesterday while waiting for the Brazil-North Korea World Cup match to start at 2.30am, I embarked on this little project.

People close to me know I'm a firm believer in love. I guessed it stemmed from my family background which made me desire to be loved. Truth is I have done countless stupid things for love, but wanting to love somebody is never stupid even when it makes you feel like an idiot. In fact it is the most amazing thing in the world! It makes you discover who you are, makes you feel valued and it gives meaning to life.

Hence it has also been my desire to bring people together or help people fall deeper in love. Not sure if anyone remembered my crazy idea of setting up a dating agency haha. But I figured out that 2 people being together is much more complex than the mere efforts of someone trying to bring them together, thus I have shelved my plans (I am still looking out for good guys for my girlfriends though :D).

This brings me to my little project "Raison D'être- The Surprise Concierge". Basically our desire is to help people plan surprises for their loved ones. It could be an anniversary, birthday celebration or proposal. Of course, we don't need a special occasion to simply say "I love you". :)

I hope this will kick off and we can help bring some romance to Singapore haha. Guys take note,"let's apply for a HDB flat?" is not a romantic proposal question :P

Before I place Facebook ads for it, I would really appreciate it if you all could give me your feedback on the concept, rates, website or anything else at all. Actually I don't really know if more than 5 people read my blog haha so if there's 5 of you, please give me some advice. :P Thanks so much!

http://www.wix.com/raisondetre/love

P.S. Ali, wix is a good site for creating flash websites :)

I will trust You

2010-06-10T17:39:00.009+08:00

I don't even want to breathe right now

All I want to do is close my eyes
But I don't want to open them again
Until I'm standing on the other side.

It feels like it's all I've got, but I know it's not
No, I know You're all I've got.

And I will trust You,
Trust You God, I will.
Even when I don't understand,
even then I will say again
You are my God & I will trust You.

- An excerpt from Steven Curtis Chapman's song

notes I :)

2010-06-02T16:51:00.006+08:00

By Your grace only

2010-05-27T10:42:00.006+08:00

Exam results were released at 12 am today. I was terrified because last semester was a disaster for me. I skipped more classes than i attended, had completely no motivation, and contemplated quitting school to work full-time.

It was a miracle i even made it through the semester and sat through the exams. I got to enjoy 1 month of blissful holidays before the impending results day. This is the day when students are rewarded for their hard work with As, while i face the consequences of skipping way too many classes. Indeed, you reap what you sow, and rightfully so.

Hence, the results i got was definitely not by my strength. For if it was the case, i would have deservingly gotten Cs and Ds and halve my GPA. I thank God for not forsaking me when i have given up on myself. I will share my grades and the number of classes i skipped so you can clearly see why it was only by God's grace i made it through.

Core Modules:
Information Literacy & Interpretation
Skipped all lectures, except 1 to do the mid-term test.
Grade: A

Speech & Argumentation
Skipped more than half of lectures.
Grade: A

Fundamentals of Research
Skipped half of lectures, even those on statistics (what was I thinking?!)
Grade: B+

Electives:
Media & Politics
Skipped every single lecture, do not even know where the lecture hall is.
Grade: A-

Business Law
Skipped more than half of lectures (ellie can attest to that haha :P), had to S/U it cuz I was completely lost.
Grade: S

GPA: 4.63

I want to share this as a testimony, not to encourage people to skip classes, nor to boast about my grades, because they were not attained through my own efforts. But to share how amazing God is.

Yaohui wrote this on my FB wall:
"shan i have absolutely no idea how you do it.. glancing through your notes, ignoring your textbook and 2 page mind maps for an entire semester's worth of a module. the only explanation was that Jesus was right there beside you, whispering into your ear what to write the entire examination. "

Indeed, Jesus was with me, every step of the way. Thank you Lord.

I hope all of do exceedingly well for your studies! :)

The Noose Preview

2010-05-21T19:58:00.002+08:00

Hilarious! Can't wait for the new season of The Noose :)

Marriage

2010-05-11T13:03:00.003+08:00

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of
me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the
office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have
a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I
run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend
and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a
real happy marriage :)

blessed 23rd

2010-05-01T23:06:00.005+08:00

To my favourite boy, happy birthday!

I hope you enjoyed your special day.
You are loved by many :)

candy apples!

2010-04-27T13:11:00.003+08:00

This commercial makes me happy every time i look at it! :D

2010-04-20T12:21:00.003+08:00

i've heard friends say that to travel together or to live together is probably the biggest test of a relationship and to know if he/she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

well i've stayed with Hazel for around one year plus , and we have travelled together! I regret not telling Joshua, Ellie and Wanteng that that trip was my happiest ever even though we had some difficulties, maybe it is my way of thumbing us down, but let it be clear that during that trip, i felt a greater connection emotionally with Hazel .. like really husband and wife kinda feeling! And i really look forward to our next holiday together =)

After 25months, i still affirm that Hazel, you are the one that i want to spend the rest of my life with. Solidifying it is not just the living and the travel, but every single day, hour and minute .. you make me feel special and loved. I hope you feel the same way too

Happy 25th month

-Boy

Our 25th month :)

2010-04-19T00:33:00.007+08:00

To an amazing man,

I love that twinkle in your eyes,
and your smile & laughter.
I love your boyish demeanor,
your heart for God & love for your family.

I love how you tuck me in bed at night,
and kiss me good morning.
I love how you give your best in everything you do,
& how you always want to make me happy.

I love how you allow me to name my toys,
and call them by their names too.
I love how you work so hard,
so as to give us a better life.

I love how you sacrifice so much for me,
even though I have done so little for you.
I love how you love my friends,
because you know I love them too.

Dearest Yaohui,
most of all,
I love you.

P.S. Thank you for buying Paddy bear for me! :)

Deadlines :(

2010-04-09T09:38:00.003+08:00

It's crunch time before the exams and next week is going to be a killer.

Tues: Presentation (20%)
Wed: Test (7%)
Fri: 3000 word essay due (50%) + experiment assignment (7%)
= 84%

That's almost like an entire module's grade, yikes! The best part is that I have barely started. And exams kick of the Friday after, starting with 2 core papers. I foresee I'll be leaving the exam hall very early...

But still I'm grateful, because my Lord have not forsaken me. I see His will in my life manifested in every way. Thank You Lord.

Happy birthday!!

2010-03-26T23:07:00.003+08:00

So sorry this is one day late,

But blessed birthday again beloved cousin! :)

Thanks for being a sister and a dear friend all in one! May God bless all that you do and all your relationships always. I love you! :)

love letter to my love

2010-03-21T00:11:00.005+08:00

my dear sweetheart:

it's our 2 years anniversary! it really feels like yesterday we were in my hall, taking a stroll and pouring our hearts to each other. we counted days, weeks, months and now years. To me, time is always precious whenever I am with you and want to tell you how much I love you everday.

i tell myself everyday that i blessed and lucky to have you, that God sent you from up above for me to love and be loved by you and is, was and always will be one of the greatest blessing in my life. you are right, company is really important, especially if the car's radio is not working =) I'm sorry i don't provide you with much gifts, but i'm looking forward to showering you with more gifts once i get back to work. For now, i hope that you can accept my small gifts and little moments to show you how much I love you.

It is the best feeling to be in love with you and I hope we can spend the rest of our lives with one another. Doing silly things, tackling the tough times and even falling in love all over again. I love you (this much) sweetheart.

Happy and Blessed 2nd Year Anniversary

Love - Boy

Our 2nd year!

2010-03-20T19:57:00.005+08:00

Yesterday marks our 2nd year together. :) I know I say this a lot, but time is really whizzing by! It feels like yesterday when we first got together, celebrated our 1st month, met his parents, got nugget then otah, got engaged, celebrated our 1 year... and now it's our 2nd already.

The truth is 2 years isn't a long time, but for a relationship I guess it is an important period. It's the early years when you get to know most about the other person, to know their strengths and flaws, and then decide whether you want to continue loving him/her, vice-versa.

I'm glad we stuck with each other. To be honest, my boy's a good catch while I'm not, so yes I think I'm more glad to have him than he is haha. :) He is amazing in every way, and even though we get into tiffs and fights every now and then, I still love him.

So yesterday, we first went to Far East Flora to buy a small pot of flowers. Even though I adore flowers, I finally realized bouquets are too expensive and cut flowers wilt so fast. The pot only cost us $2, and with luck it will keep blooming! :) Then we went to Conrad Centennial for a yummy buffet lunch and after that to Vivo to get each other gifts. We were supposed to go for dinner but were too tired and came home to watch Desperate Housewives lol.

I guess as time goes by, outward displays of affection (esp expensive ones) become less important and company with a loved one is all you need. :) Blessed 2nd year my boy!

P.S. The lovely drawing was done by my cousin Leia :)

Love,
shan

Blessings

2010-03-12T00:18:00.003+08:00

as the evening news unfolded events that went on during mr neo's public apology, i could feel a flurry of emotions. i felt angry at mr neo for betraying his wife, marriage and children. for letting himself slip and give in to adulterous desires, pushing aside any responsibility he had of a husband, father and man. but at the same time, i felt remorseful for him .. having understood that we as humans falter and a moment a folly led to his demise. while many people will continue to pass on judgement towards cheating husbands (tiger woods, john terry, ashley cole, kobe bryant, jackie chan and many other not mentioned) i feel that probably the best thing we as fellow human beings can do, as mrs neo. puts it, is to give them our blessings.

mr neo held mrs neo's hand as they entered the conference of blinding (and flashing light), with mr neo looking the more ready of the two to face the media. mr neo broke down mid-way into his speech, realizing the gravity of his wrong doings, hardships he put his wife through, and grateful for his wife's forgiveness. all this while, mrs neo had a head tilted downwards, unable to meet the media's glare. when it was her turn to comment, mrs neo had trouble verbalizing the words she had prepared to say.

"I love Jack, I love my marriage and i love our children .. " (spoken in mandarin, and cameras clicking most intensely to capture her weakest moments)

mrs neo barely had strength to walk, and was helped out of the room by her husband and even Mark Lee, who last week told the media he wanted to give mr neo "two slaps" was there to help. visibly in distress not only did photographers not give mrs neo more breathing room, they mobbed mr and mrs neo wanting to get more pictures. refusing pleas to make way, mr neo let out a blasting scream "Get away!!". Ah Nan at this point muscled his way to the front of the crowd and single-handedly held back photographers.

mrs neo, what you did was incredibly brave. to forgive mr neo for his wrongdoings is something not many women can do. what you have to go through knowing your husband has cheated on you must be most painful.

many people think that all this is just an act and mr neo is simply a director , directing his own apology. many people think that mrs neo should not have been there and was used as a shield to gain sympathy.

act or no act, stunt or not stunt. mr neo, mrs neo and family.. you have my blessings.

-boy

Pika..CHU!

2010-03-10T21:38:00.001+08:00

I want to have this, it's too cute! Doubt it's legal though lol. :D

2010-03-07T18:18:00.001+08:00

i have lost my much-ness.

Smack me with a shoe

2010-03-04T20:21:00.006+08:00

As I'm downloading lectures slides from past weeks and staring blankly at terms that I've never seen before, I feel like taking a shoe and smacking my head.

Sheer, utter frustration with myself. How did I allow myself to fall this far?

When the mid-term break ends, it'll be week 8 already. I remember having this exact post in Week 4 and viola deja vu! I am almost certain a week before the exams, I'll be posting yet another similar post.

Hazel, you are the weakest and most ill-disciplined person I have ever known. You don't deserve to do well, just continue to be mediocre in all you do.

Only God can help you now.

Why me?

2010-02-28T13:56:00.006+08:00

Why me, to be born healthy and have all body parts working?
Why me, to live without worry of hunger?
Why me, to have a roof over my head and a bed to rest my sleepy head?
Why me, to be able to go to school and have a chance to pursue my dreams?
Why me, to have the opportunity to see the world and all its splendour?
Why me, to have friends that care if I'm skipping classes?
Why me, to have a family that though scattered, are still in reach?
Why me, to have such a wonderful man love such a flawed me?
Why me, that God chose to bestow all these wonderful blessings on me?

Often when we go through trials in life, we stop to ponder, why me? At least that is what I always do haha. Today, I decided to count my blessings and be thankful for all the blessings that I have. Why don't you count yours too? :)

Looklet

2010-02-20T19:44:00.008+08:00

Just found this awesome site that allow you be a fashion editor, giving you the power to choose the model, background, clothes, accessories and shoes for your own look. It's really addictive and a great way to experiment with different styles before going shopping!

P.S. cousin & ali i know you're going to love this, can't wait to see your amazing creations!

http://looklet.com

Here's what i've created so far:

Have fun! :)

CNY!

2010-02-15T03:09:00.006+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! :)

May this lunar year be filled with blessings for each of you.

May all students get excellent grades, those looking for a job find the one they desire, and we all be healthy and happy!

P.S. I'm thankful for family gatherings :)

Love,
hazel

Chinatown

2010-02-11T00:22:00.006+08:00

My favourite song of the moment :) The lyrics are beautiful too. Indeed, I'm blessed to have travelled the world, but there's no feeling like home.

可是你飘泊在天涯一万零一夜

一定想回家过节

在一条陌生的街

种一种熟悉的感觉

我已经环游了世界踏破了铁鞋

是时候过一些平凡的夜

I still can't believe i shook his hand, i should have hugged him and not let go *wistful*

Finding the carrot

2010-02-07T18:20:00.003+08:00

wonder what my carrot is

I can feel my motivation to study coming back (thank God)!

Will blog about my amazing weekend of shaking lin you jia's hand (!!!), getting sunburnt at the airshow with cousin, aaron & the boy, and going back to church.

For now, I have to complete my speech presentation for tues that is 15% of the grade, and I've barely started lol.

To Wan Teng: I am so proud of you for acing your Credit Suisse interview! Indeed God has a plan to prosper his children, I hope to hear more good news soon! :)

Wasting my life

2010-02-01T12:22:00.003+08:00

As cousin mentioned, it's been a while since I blogged. January has come and gone and I doubt I even knew it existed.

Not sure what is wrong, but I seemed to have lost the zest in life suddenly and completely. I don't feel like studying, and I've skipped too many lectures that I can't even count. There's a core module that I've not attended a single lecture. And yes, they take attendance and it's week 4 already. Sigh.

I've not been heading to church much either. My nose has been acting up recently, lots of sneezing and wheezing in the mornings and nights. Sometimes I can't even breathe through my nose and it's a pretty scary feeling. It's a great excuse to tell myself to lie in bed and just sleep the discomfort away. After all it's rude to spread my germs in lecture halls and church no? (yeah right hazel..)

Don't feel like meeting anyone, don't feel like doing anything. I just want to lay in bed and waste my days away. God forgive me.

Hazel what are you doing with your life? Snap out of this.

A hair affair

2010-01-15T20:18:00.018+08:00

On Monday, I had an almost 5 hours break during lectures and crazy me decided to cut my hair (with much persuasion from Yaohui lol). I haven't taken a photo of it yet cuz I think I look ugly but it's short at the back and sloping to the front. It's supposed to be like Victoria Beckham's "Pob", just not as nice haha.

However I relish the convenience that having short hair brings, how fast it dries after a wash, cheaper hair cuts and less shampoo used! Oops the last 2 points sound very auntie-like, please ignore them. :X

When I was young, my dad didn't let me keep long hair, apparently he prefers girls with short hair. It was only until I was P6 when I joined Chinese Dance and had to keep long hair to tie pigtails (lol!) that he agreed to let me keep my hair long. And how happy I was! I let my hair grow and grow until it reached my waist in secondary school and even JC. To top it off, I rebonded it so it was long, straight and black. Definitely a bad idea and I got to play the role of Sadako twice in student council camps lol.

When I went for training at SIA, my hair was still long and my bun was like a mini pillow. After that, I had my first major hair cut. When I started flying, I still couldn't tie my hair nicely like my other batch girls. I didn't have a nice fringe and no "hump" and the toxic amount of hairspray used made my hair fall so I decided to cut it short.

Quite coincidentally, my first flight after I cut my hair was a last-min standby call-up to London approximately 2 hours before take off. I managed to pack my luggage, get ready and reported straight to the aircraft in 45min. If I still had long hair, that would have been impossible haha.

After I left SIA, I let my hair grow out till last Monday. My dream was to have long hair with big curls but after an impulse decision, now all I have left is a short crop lol. After reading all this rubbish about my hair, the lesson learnt is do not visit the hairdresser when you're bored! :D

My hair affair through the years

May 2007

Oct 2007

March 2008

May 2008

Sept 2008

March 2009

Dec 2009

And my horrendous hair in SIA...

No fringe/no hump :(

The flight another stewardess did the french twist for me

Hair down in Cairo

Short hair :)

P.S. Sorry this post is super narcissistic with so many photos of me, it's for you all and myself to laugh about my ugly hair. :D

My resolution

2010-01-03T18:18:00.005+08:00

I pray in the new year I will be able to...
catch up with old friends
make new ones
do something crazy
achieve my goals
be a better person
and love like I've never loved before
with the same man.

This is my resolution.

Hazel
- 3 Jan 2010-